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Balls of Steel Episode 13: Grass, Paper, Scissors
“Last time on Balls of Steel…” “Realizing how much of a powerful duo they were, Grass was eager to split up Dark and Toast. Meanwhile, Ally, Dark, and Toast came up with a plan to vote out Grass, whom would later go on to win the immunity challenge. Prior to the elimination ceremony, Grass reconsidered his strategy, as he realized Chip and Ally were still aligned. But in the end, it was Toast who ended up getting tossed like pizza dough via the Hurl of Shame.” “With four left, which three daredevils will survive tonight’s episode and who will get a free ride out of here? Find out right here, right now, on Balls of Steel!” (Merge Camp- Day 34) (The Final Four contestants are all gathered around their campfire, just sitting there, bored out of their minds) Dark: So……. Dem llamas. Ally: Shut up, Dark! Dark: Nope. B) Grass: You know Ally, there is such thing as ear plugs. Ally: Liek, shut your face Grass! We are no longer friends! Grass: I am devastated just at the thought. Chip: Now now, folks. Let’s not get ourselves too out of hand here. No need to gang up on Ally. Ally: Thanks Chip! Chip: I mean, it’s not her fault she should be on Weight Watchers. Ally: Rude! That’s it! I’m outta here! (Ally then runs off into the woods) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grass: *In Confessional* My God Ally has been getting on my nerves lately. If she doesn’t cut the hammy shit out I might as well vote her out. Dark: *In Confessional* Last night my boi Toast got eliminated. Now I’m all alone by myself. But not to worry. Cus Max Goof never quits. B) Ally: *In Confessional* I swear everyone here is sooooo mean! Like, what have I ever done to deserve this suffering? Just get me outta here! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dark: Yo Chip. Chip: ??? Dark: CHUUUUUUNNNKKYYYYYY!!!! *bans Chip* Grass: Okay, now that he’s gone. We need to talk. Dark: Me, you, alliance, boiiiii!!! Grass: Damn straight! We can’t let Ally and Chip run this shit to the end. Fuck that. Dark: Yep, so first chance we get, it’s bye bye to Chip! Grass: Yep… ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grass: *In Confessional* Dark and I are the two outsiders, so we gotta stick together. BUT Dark’s bitchass wants Chip gone first. Which isn’t good for me. Because I wanna bring Chip to the finale since I feel I’d have a better shot at beating him. I mean, if I brought Ally to the end with me, Heo and the Hams would be all up on her IHOP gift cards. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Immunity Challenge- Day 35) (Four different circles are seen in different corners, as if they were to make a square if they connected) Chwiis: Alright Jews, so today’s challenge is quite simple: See these four corner circles over there? Well each of you will stand on one, then, one-by-one the pairs across from each other will go at it in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. The two losers will then be ejected and go flying into the air. Then the two winners will go at it. The winner of that round wins the challenge and immunity! Chip: So basically it’s just a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament? Aqua: Basically, yes. Grass: What’s the point of the pods then? Chwiis: Nothing more than to spice things up a bit, you know, hurting you all for more entertaining television. Dark: Wow, Chwiis. Unoriginal much? Aqua: Hey, it’s not our fault the writer of this fanfic couldn’t come up with a better challenge! Chwiis: Anyways, let’s begin, shall we? (The four contestants are now on their separate corner circles) Chwiis: First up, is Dark vs Grass. Dark: So… We meet again, Boograssi. Grass: Yep, and just like last time, I’m taking the victory away. Chwiis: Ready? Aaaannndd, Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT! Dark: BOOM! Grass: DEEZ NUTS! (We see that Dark has chosen Rock while Grass chose Scissors) Dark: Woohoo! Grass: Ah fuck! Chwiis: And Dark wins! Sorry Grass, but it looks like it’s liftoff for you! *pushes button* Grass: *goes flying high* GGOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTIIIIIIIII!!!!! *lands in ocean* Chwiis: Next up is Ally vs Chip. Good luck! Chip: Please, luck is all I ever have on my side! Just watch and learn. Ally: Shut the fuck up! Gosh! Chip: Excuse moi? Ally: Oh I’m just kidding! :3 Chwiis: Ready? Aaaannndd, Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT! (Ally has chosen Scissors while Chip has chosen Paper) Ally: Yay I win! Now where’s my prize, bitch!? >:D Chwiis: Hold up, Ally. You have indeed won this round. But your “prize” aka immunity does not come until after this next and final round. But first… *pushes button* Chip: Hey what do you think you’re- *goes flying high into the air* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *gets hit by random airplane* Chwiis: NOW we may begin the final round. Ally, Dark, get ready! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ally: *In Confessional, all bandaged up* Shout out to all of my peeps up in Montana! Liek, hiiiii!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chwiis: Ready? Aaaanndd, Rock! Paper! Scissors! SHOOT! (Ally has chosen Rock, while Dark seems to have chosen Rock with his left hand and Scissors with his right hand) Ally: Ha! Even when you try to cheat I still win! Dark: Lol nope! *pulls out dick and it chooses Paper* And with that, I expand my dong. Ally: :O Chwiis: And it seems Dark has done the impossible! *pushes button and Ally goes flying* Aqua: You’re kidding, right? Chwiis: Dark wins immunity! Congrats mah man. You are going to the Final 3! Dark: Nice! B) Chwiis: Say, where did Ally land? Oh wait, there she is! (Ally is seen landing into a volcano) Chwiis: No worries, m8. Not like she landed in lava or anything. That volcano hasn’t erupted in over two centuries! (The volcano suddenly explodes) Chwiis: Wow, I did Nazi that coming! (Merge Camp- Day 36) (Grass and Chip are alone near a cave) Grass: Chip, last elimination I did you a favor by voting out Toast. Now it’s your turn to return that favor. Chip: *raises eyebrow* And what exactly are you thinking? Grass: We vote out Ally. Chip: Pfft. As if! Besides, it benefits me in no way, shape, or form to keep you around any longer. Grass: What if I were to say that Ally isn’t exactly as she appears? Chip: What? That she’s a man? If so, that wouldn’t really surprise me tbh. Grass: Nah, I mean what if she’s much brighter and smart than she wants us to believe? Chip: Doubt it. Grass: For all we know, she could be using you to get to the end. Chip: Well to be fair, I’ve been using her, so it wouldn’t make a difference. But you might be onto something. Grass: Boi, please. Have I ever lied to you since we’ve been out here? *fingers crossed behind back* Chip: Hmmmm….. (Meanwhile, Ally and Dark are hanging out near the beach) Dark: Yo Ally, I think I might vote for Grass tonight. Ally: Um, okay. Dark: He hasn’t received a single vote since this thing started. so it would be funny to ruin his perfect record and troll tf outta him. Ally: I guess, maybe, I don’t know, liek, go away! Dark: I dare you to vote Grass too tbh. The vote would atleast tie and to see Grass panic would have me dying tbh. Ally: But Grass is my friend! D: Dark: I was kidding. Gosh, you need to chill out, boi. Ally: I’m a girl though! Dark: K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dark: *In Confessional* I wasn’t kidding tbh. I’m too Max Goof to lie. Ally: *In Confessional* This is going to be soooooo fun! :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Elimination Ceremony- Night 36) Chwiis: Alright, Dark, since you have immunity, you are safe, obviously. also safe with no votes is…….. Chip! Chip: Phew! Chwiis: Which leaves us to Ally and Grass. you each at least received one vote. Grass: Wow Ally, you would vote for me. Ally: But I didn’t, I voted for myself! Grass: Huh? Chwiis: And the person going home is…… Ally! Sorry, but the time has finally come! Ally: *stands up* Hooray! Bout time I left this dump! Bye everyone! Grass: Wait, if you didn’t vote for me, then who did? Ally: I don’t know, Dark said he was voting you just to piss you off. so yeah. (Grass then looks over at Dark, who replies with a funny ass looking trollface) Ally: Anyways, I had a great time out here! Bye guys! Oh, and screw you Chip for voting me! Chip: Meh, I was finished with you anyways. Ally: I was just kidding you retard! Gosh! <3 Chip: T.T Chwiis: Ally, the Hurl of Shame awaits! (We cut to Ally sitting on top of a giant catapult) Chwiis: Any last words before you go? You know, like maybe a request for my phone number? ;) Ally: Ew! Gross! Get away from me, I hate you! Chwiis: Well if that’s the way it’s gonna be then. Aqua, get her out of here will ya! (Aqua releases the catapult, sending Ally off into the night sky) Ally: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Chwiis: And just like that, it’s come down to three fgts battling it out. Who’s dreams will be cut just short of the million dollars next? Find out only on Balls! Of! Steel! (End) (Preview for episode 14 plays) “Next time on Balls of Steel…” “Grass ditches Chip and Dark as allies, and it’s officially become every man for himself” Chip: Bitches! *gets run over by bus* Grass: How about some of DEEZ- *gets hit in the testicles with a football* Nuts….. Dark: I’m too Max Goof to- *gets smashed by giant anvil* “It all happens next week, on Balls of Steel, Episode 14: Crouching Ogre, Hidden Fuq Boi” (End of preview)